Angel of Music

6:55pm: Happy medium

So there's this guy I've been talking to online (different than the last one I mentioned. He was a loser). This new guy's name is Jason and he seems pretty cool, and we have quite a bit in common. We even talked on the phone last week (I think it was last week, maybe week before) for two hours. Except see here's the thing. I think my inner Elinor Dashwood is taking control. I hardly ever email him first or IM him first, and the one time we talked on the phone, that only happened because after he gave me his number, I gave him mine and he said he'd call at such and such time (and he actually did, which was definitely a point in his favor). But still, I...I think he's a great guy, and really, I am interested in getting to know him better, but I'm not sure my brain knows how to deal with having a crush where I don't turn beet red at the mention of his name. It's like I'm rational or something. I'm worried that unless I start calling him or IMing him myself on occasion, he's going to think I'm being cold and don't like him. But on the other hand, I don't want to start calling him all the time and turn into the "OMG he talked to me" girl that I'm trying to not be anymore.

Basically what I'm saying is that I'm trying to find a happy medium between Elinor and Marianne Dashwood. Yes, I watched Sense and Sensibility last night. I really haven't the slightest idea what I'm doing.

8:23am: The Love of God

I'm not really sure where to begin in telling about how crazy this week has been. Crazy amazing that is. Or rather, crazy eye-opening. I'm going to talk about something on here that I really never talk about, but I feel like it's been so important this week, and, like I said, my eyes have been opened this week to some crazy awesome things. So here goes. It's rather long.

 

( Religion and Social Justice )

 

( Religion and Social Justice )

 

( Religion and Social Justice )

Edit: I don't know why the cut's showing up three times....? I'm too lazy to try to figure out how to fix it but apparently only the first one leads to the top of the cut, so you should click that one.

 

9:03pm: The Man in the Mirror

Well my brain's kind of exploding (as is the internet) and so I really feel like I have to post a brief (maybe?) entry regarding the tragic passing of Michael Jackson.

You see, I grew up listening to Michael Jackson music and watching his videos, and from the age of 2 until about the age of 10 when I started getting into country music, if you asked me who my favorite singer is, I would say Michael Jackson. We have several home videos of me at the age of 2 or 3 singing along to Michael Jackson songs, or at least trying to. Around that age my parents bought me a video called "Moonwalker," which was 30-45 minutes long and was a compilation of several of Michael Jackson's most famous songs/videos. I watched it so much that at two years old I practically had the thing memorized. My reaction to the video was so hilarious that one time my mom filmed me watching it. Literally, two years old, and I was dancing along and having a great time. In one song, there's a part in the choreography where Michael and his backup dancers drop to their knees. I wasn't even facing the TV at the time, I was facing my mother, and I dropped to my little two year old knees the exact moment that the video did. I was that ridiculous! As soon as the song "Bad," ended (the version with the kids imitating Michael), I turned around to face my mom and said "Do 'gain..... Do 'gain.... Do 'gain...." until she finally did. ("Do again"= "Play it again" for those of you who don't speak toddler)

I own all of the albums released by Michael Jackson since my birth (so, not Thriller or Off the Wall which were the early 80s, but most of those songs are on his greatest hits album so it works out). Whenever Michael Jackson was having a concert or an interview on TV my parents knew to let me know so I could watch it. It took a great deal of subtle skill for them to keep my little six year old self away from the TV when the first child molestation scandal was going on.

I don't know, there's been a lot of stuff said about Michael Jackson in the papers and on the Internet and God knows where else. Yeah, he was really weird and eccentric. But Al Sharpton (of all people) put it very poignantly today on MSNBC- many of these people coming out and praising Michael Jackson and his musical talents wouldn't have come within ten feet of him yesterday. That's simply not right. Maybe I'm crazy and naive, but I still hold to the belief that I don't think Michael Jackson ever harmed a child or anyone else, sexually or otherwise. I've seen where a psychiatrist who interviewed/examined him during the second child molestation charges in 2005 gave as his professional opinion that Michael was a regressed 10 year old and didn't fit the profile of a pedophile. And I think that psychiatrist was exactly right.

Michael Jackson grew up in the media. From the time he was 11 years old, he lost all semblance of privacy, and even before that he was terribly abused, physically and mentally by his father. I mean, can you imagine being essentially the MOST FAMOUS PERSON in the entire world? That pressure is enough to mess anybody up and it's a miracle and, I think, a testament to his integrity and humanitarianism, that we haven't had to deal with his death sooner due to alcohol or drug addiction. I think, since much of his childhood was taken away from him, it's no surprise that he had regressed into the mindset of a child. I just can't imagine coping with no privacy, whatsoever. I think considering what all he had to deal with, of course he was going to have idiosyncracies, and of course he wasn't going to be perhaps quite all there, or act like most other people would. And anyway, half the stuff reported about him turned out to be completely false. And I would just like to state for the record that he was acquitted on all charges in that 2005 trial. People talked so much about his alleged child abuse, completely ignoring the millions of dollars he donated to charities around the world, and his many humanitarian-themed songs.

Other people would sometimes make fun of Michael Jackson, but whenever I felt anything other than awe at his musical talent, I felt sorry for him. Sorry that he had so much pressure on him from such a young age. Sorry that because of that pressure he had become what he had become. Sorry that people hardly took him seriously anymore, until today when everyone's suddenly gushing about what a musical legend he was (which he was, but they should have admitted it before his death). There are two lines in his song that was on the Free Willy soundtrack, Will You Be There, and every time I hear them I think two things- one, they're such powerful lines, especially the way he sings them, and two, so true in regards to his life. 

"Everyone's taking control of me, seems like the world's got a role for me. I'm so confused, will you show to me, you'll be there for me, and care enough to bear me?" 

"But they told me a man should be faithful, and walk when not able, and fight til the end, but I'm only human."

Michael Jackson was an incredible singer, dancer, songwriter, performer, and humanitarian. His contributions to the world have been greater than I think anyone realized until today. What saddens me the most is that he will not have the opportunity to return to recording music and touring as he had been planning to do, to throw aside the eccentric reputation that had haunted him for almost two decades. He gave his all to his work, and set an example for working hard and giving to others. He truly was and will always be the King of Pop. He will be deeply missed.

Like a comet
Blazing 'cross the evening sky
Gone too soon

Like a rainbow
Fading in the twinkling of an eye
Gone too soon

Shiny and sparkly
And splendidly bright
Here one day
Gone one night

Like the loss of sunlight
On a cloudy afternoon
Gone too soon

Like a castle
Built upon a sandy beach
Gone too soon

Like a perfect flower
That is just beyond your reach
Gone too soon

Born to amuse
To inspire, to delight
Here one day
Gone one night

Like a sunset
Dying with the rising of the moon
Gone too soon

1:54pm: Half the battle

Last night, I was glued to the television screen watching the election results come in, as I'm sure many of you were. And when CBS announced that Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States of America, I can hardly describe the joy I felt.

Yes, I am a fervent Obama supporter. I feel like his message is one of change and hope in a political world filled with cynicism and corruption. I feel like he's going to be different. And I feel like given my other option, Obama, in my opinion, was clearly the better candidate at this point in our nation's history.

But I know he's not perfect. He's only human, he will make mistakes, and he will do some things in office that I don't agree with. He is not a Messiah. But he is not the Antichrist either.

And at this moment, this day in history, I am in awe of how far our nation has come in just 140 years, in just 40 years. Just 140 years ago, blacks were slaves, seen as property, not even counted as an entire person when figuring up state populations. An inexperienced senator from Illinois named Abraham Lincoln changed all of that.

Our parents grew up in the civil rights movement, in an era when whites and blacks could not drink from the same water fountain, use the same restroom, ride in the same seats in the bus, or attend the same schools. They were separate and that made their social status unequal. But a great man, a great orator, named Dr.Martin Luther King Jr., gave that generation hope in a dream, "that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.' "

And no, that dream is not here yet. The number of people who voted for McCain based almost solely on Obama's race proves that this battle is only half over. The number of people so afraid of anything different from the "norm" that they'll believe anything people say about Obama- they'll even believe that he's a Muslim terrorist set on turning the US into a socialist regime in which all their freedoms are taken away. Those people show us that this battle is only half over. The fact that my grandfather still, whenever he sees a black person, comments under his breath that they need to be sent back over the river to Kentucky where they "belong," shows me this battle is not over.

An acquantince of mine today commented that today wasn't really that historic. "Why is it historic?" he asked.

"Um, first black president, duh," I said.

His response basically can be summed up as "So?"

And he didn't realize that he had just proved my point.

The fact that race was not that huge of a factor in this race, the fact that in spite of the fact that Obama is black, he still won the popular vote by six to seven million votes, shows me that even though the battle is not over, we have come a long way. Forty years ago, thirty years ago, even twenty years ago, this would have been impossible. Race would have been too big of an issue. Now that sentiment is dying, and good riddance. I grew up in Greensboro, North Carolina, a city whose main claim to fame is a "sit-in" that occurred there in the 1960s. Four black students went into a diner and sat at the counter and were asked to leave, based solely on the color of their skin. They refused, and sat there anyway. The next day they brought more people, and the next day more, until within four days there were 100s of people packed into that diner, protesting segregation. Thirty years later, the Greensboro, North Carolina that I grew up in was not segregated. I went to an elementary school that boasted students from dozens of countries, that every year had an international fair in which those students would bring in foods and items from their culture, to teach the rest of us about their heritage. I grew up knowing that other cultures were not something to be feared, but embraced. One of my best friends in junior high was Korean-American. I knew nothing of segregation except what I learned in social studies class.

I now have hope that that unity combined with diversity is something that can one day spread across the US, even into places that aren't that diverse. The state I now live in, the state I voted in, Indiana, voted for Obama. Indiana hasn't voted for a Democratic candidate since 1964. Voter turnout was higher in this election than in any previous election in our nation's history. People are starting to feel like they have a voice in what goes on in our government. Like we have a voice in changing the path of this country's future. Like the divisiveness of the last eight years can fade into unity and hope and change. Can we show the world that we as Americans are not bound by racism and intolerance, that we do not judge people by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character? Yes, we can.

And now an "inexperienced" senator from Illinois, a great orator, will be the first black president of the United States of America, and I have never been prouder to call myself an American.

11:35am: Procrastinating
I've been skimming the newly posted legal draft of "Midnight Sun" (the new Twilight book that got leaked onto the internet, so Stephanie Meyer was like eh, fine, read it legally) and ohhhhhhhh my gosh this is freaking hilarious. I really want to read these books now just to laugh at them, and yet I'm not sure I can actually handle this much emo-angst. BTW, Midnight Sun is the first book, Twilight, but from Edward's point of view instead of Bella's. ACTUAL QUOTE:

"It shouldn't be so hard for me to do the right thing. But, all afternoon, I was gritting my teeth against the urge that had me yearning to ditch, too--in order to go find the girl again.

Like a stalker. An obsessed stalker. An obsessed, vampire stalker."

6:52pm: Candy mountain Chaaaarlie!

I have discovered the definition of procrastination: playing on facebook and watching Charlie the Unicorn on Youtube when I have a 10 page paper due the day after tomorrow (of which I have written 3 pages). It probably also says something about my current level of sleep deprivation. Thursday cannot get here fast enough. (cause after this paper's done my homework is in more manageable chunks the rest of the semester)

Although I will say for myself that I think this is the largest proportion of a paper I've ever had done this far in advance. Which should probably be sad.

I'm going to stop procrastinating now. Really.

6:43pm: Scotch tape and Crayola crayons
We have to do this unit plan for my ed 322 class (in groups of four, thank goodness) and it's like our end of the semester project. Well we had to do a lesson plan last week as a sort of mini-version of the unit plan. And when we went to turn ours in, the professor told us we weren't specific enough about the materials we would need. We had put something like "books, scissors, tape, posterboard, and coloring supplies." Nope. That wasn't specific enough. We had to tell him EXACTLY what coloring supplies we would use and EXACTLY what books we would supply the students with. This one girl in my group, Alex, started saying that on the unit plan, just to annoy him, we should be ridiculously specific. Ex: Scotch tape, Crayola Crayons, Roseart colored pencils, the 23rd edition of the Rand McNally World Atlas. It's become kind of an inside joke now, so that whenever we're annoyed at the professor for being really picky about stuff (which he does a lot) Alex is just like "Scotch tape. I SO want to do it." and the rest of us agree. So we probably will. :)

10:52am: Icons!!!!!!!!!!
Well I was bored on Thursday night before leaving to go home and decided I would actually post some icons I made a while back. So I was saving them on photobucket.....when my ride called to tell me she was ready to leave. And as I was too lazy to hook my laptop up to the phone line over Easter Break, I couldn't put the rest of the icons on photobucket til today! I made a bunch of icons yesterday too, so they're here too. Enjoy. (BTW, I <3 LJ for doing the whole photobucket thing, this is gonna make my life SO much easier.) There are icons from Beauty and the Beast, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Clue, Finding Nemo, Lost, Pirates 2, and even a few misc ones. (BTW, the Lost ones have spoilers through 3x06)

Preview:

       

9:54pm: PRINTER IS OUT OF INK
Apparently college students can't read. I know! It's pretty shocking. I mean, you would think that if I went through the trouble to go all the way back to my room to borrow tape from someone so I could tape a sign to the computer lab door saying "PRINTER IS OUT OF INK" in bright blue highlighter, that people would stop trying to print stuff out.  YOU WOULD THINK, RIGHT?!!? But I swear to God probably 7 people have tried to print something just since I posted the sign, and someone just tried again to print something literally as I write this. And it's not just people that were already in here and did not have the benefit of the sign- no. A girl walked in, sat down next to me. As she's sitting there her friend next to her mentions to one of the apparently illiterate students standing by the printer all confused at why his paper has no writing on it "Hey, the printer's out of ink." The girl sitting next to me who HAD JUST WALKED IN THROUGH THE DOOR WITH THE BIG SIGN ON IT goes "Oh really? Are you serious? That's good to know. I just printed a bunch of stuff out." 

Can I smack her? Please?

YOU ARE WASTING TREES PEOPLE!!

*deep breath* I think I'm good now. 6 minutes to go.

12:43pm: Yeah. I'm THAT bored.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4&mode=related&search=

This, my friends, goes to show you how bored I am. April 24th needs to get here really quick before my IQ plummets from boredom.

6:58pm: Randomness
I just saw an icon with a picture of an adorable bunny rabbit, with the words "Severus Snape Animagus."

ROFL!

1:15am: Random fangirlyness
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!

I'm good now. Just been waiting for that flashback for about 2 years. So I was pretty excited.

10:24pm: He thinks he'll keep her
I should be perfectly content right now but for some reason I am not. 

I think most of it is that Jill's still all depressed about her boy situation and other random stuff and I think she's become a bit homesick. It's like she thinks coming home will solve all her problems, and I'm starting to worry that when that's not the case she's going to still be depressed when she gets here. Oh yeah. And today was her birthday and even though I sent her an e-card and profusely wished her happy birthday and have a package on the way to England for her, and even though her/our friends there threw her a mini surprise birthday party.....even though there was all of that....she still wrote a blog entry saying that it basically could have been better cause Luke didn't really IM her. I'll give her credit, she did at least say something like "not that I'm not grateful, cause I really am" but then she had to be all "but....." I really honestly want to smack some sense into her AND Luke.

I don't know. I'm just in a really odd mood for some reason. I feel really overwhelmed when I don't honestly have that much I have to do, at least not in the immediate future. I probably just need sleep. I mean I have stuff to do but it's not like a crazy amount of stuff to do. Straighten my room...chemistry homework due Friday...registering for classes on Friday....making sure I can actually take the classes I want to take....catching up on ESL.....I guess it's just a bunch of little stuff, you know? 

Anyway, Mary Chapin Carpenter is one of my mom's favorite singers, and He Thinks He'll Keep Her is probably my mom's favorite song of hers. I learned to play it on the guitar today and I always forget how wonderful the lyrics are. It's great. So here they are, under the cut.


Lovely isn't it?


On a more amusing note, I am quite possibly descended from Welsh kings. And Pocahantas. Not kidding. 
Aaaaaaaand it's my bedtime.

9:53am: I sleep now.
Well I survived my chemistry test. Barely. Stayed up until 2AM last night and out of 19 questions on the test, there were at least two that I almost completely guessed on. And a couple others were very much educated guesses. But I think I did at least about what I did last time, perhaps a bit better. I'd like to get up to a B- ish in that class at least (I have a C now) so hopefully the lab will help out with that. I sleep now. (Man, you guys really need to see "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra." All these jokes are so lost on you and 'tis sad.)

7:10pm: I'm too bored to come up with a witty title
I honestly cannot remember the last time I was this bored. I leave for spring break tomorrow and I have no homework due tomorrow, and therefore nothing to do WHATsoever. And I'm at work study. 

In other news, I changed my earrings for the first time on Saturday. It was quite cool, because even though Jill wasn't there obviously, Josie and I were talking to her on IM the whole 45 minutes it took me to take the stupid things out. (That's right, I said 45 minutes. I was a chicken!) So it was really cool and as close to her being there as it could be, considering she's kind of in England. I discovered though that wearing dangly earrings for over 12 hours, the first time you change your earrings, is NOT a good idea. I thought my ears were just going to like fall off and die. They weren't even BIG dangly earrings! They were little dangly earrings! So I've worn my dangly earrings sparingly since then, and it's gotten better. Jill apparently sent out the first two pairs of earrings she's gotten me (out of 5 or 6 I think) today. One pair's from England, the other pair's from Ireland. (And yes Beatrice, one pair is pink, and one pair is blue.) Hopefully by the time spring break's over, I'll have gotten up the nerve to at least try on my big dangly earrings. lol. I'm such a chicken. 

Jill will be coming back early btw, and even though the reason is sad (her end of semester travel plans fell through), it is pretty cool, cause now she'll be back like April 20th ish instead of May 3rd ish. Woohoo for Lego star wars! We've also decided that me, her, and Josie are going to at least once while she's back, get all dressed up fancy and go out to eat or somewhere fancy or something. Cause we can. 

Oh btw, we get to register for classes for next semester soon (I can't believe it's already that time). I present to you, the upcoming semester from hell:

MWF
7:30-9:30ish Jr high internship
9:45- 11:30ish ESL Internship
12 Business Spanish
2 Cognitive Science

TT
7:30-9:30ish Jr high internship
9:45- 11:30ish ESL Internship
1:15 Ancient Christianity

Two internships in one semester= no free time. ever. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee. 
And I swear business Spanish was the only Spanish class I could fit in my schedule. Not that I had many other options, but still!

And last but not least, I just had a very odd and very brief conversation with someone who may or may not have been Thymie. I'm thinking it wasn't her which confuses me. Oh well.

3:02pm: Dangly green earrings are pretty and I want to wear them NOW
I can finally change my earrings for the first time on Saturday, and I CANNOT WAIT. You have no idea how tempting it is to rip the stupid studs out now. What's stopping me is that Jill says taking the earrings out the first time might hurt a tad. Stupid ears.

As for Road Trip this weekend, it was great. I'd type more about it, but I dunno I'm just not in a blurby mood for some reason. All I'll say is that there was a hypnotist thing and it was soooooo hilarious. And a comedian who was also hilarious. It was great, and my roadtrippers were great, and we won a blanket each at trivia. Good lord I think that's the shortest blurb I've ever written.

We're doing complicated stuff in chemistry now, and it looks scary. OK, so it's not REALLY that complicated (yet) but it looks complicated and I've never seen so many H's and C's in my life. The prof thinks we're going to have a test next Friday over 10 chapters. When we've only gone over five of those ten so far. Boy is he mistaken.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand I'm really sleepy. If I didn't have a class in less than an hour, I would so take a nap right now. Wait a minute. JUST remembered that my ESL class got postponed until 4:45!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Perhaps I shall take a nap after all! Night night!

11:29pm: POOFY!

Thank you Beatrice for the hat it is adorable and POOFY on top!!!! :-D

5:48pm: Yesu Azali Awa
I swear every time I walk into my room it's like someone has snuck in while I've been gone and thrown everything onto the floor. I may want to remedy that at some point, since I have two seniors in high school coming to visit tomorrow for Road Trip, and I may want to oh, I dunno, give them a good impression or something. As long as they're not really ridiculously girly/valley girls, etc, I think it'll be really fun. I'll probably/hopefully be seeing the movie "Stranger Than Fiction" on Saturday, which is exciting cause I've wanted to see it for a while. 

I'm actually starting to get homework now, which is throwing me off because until now I really hadn't had much if any at all. So I kinda keep forgetting to do it until the last minute...if at all....there's another thing I may want to remedy at some point. 

OOH! But I was sooooooo proud of myself today. My chem lab is every Thursday, and my lab partner is nice enough, and we seem to work well together. Well last week she didn't show up. I had no idea she wasn't going to show up so I was incredibly angry at her. That piled on top of the whole Jill thing having not been resolved yet at that point and feeling like I just had so much to do, and the lab was kinda complicated...I kinda had a mini-nervous breakdown in chem lab. Emphasis on the word mini. But this week, after saying she was going to show up, she didn't show up AGAIN. According to the teacher, she had emailed him and said her boyfriend was getting shipped to Iraq so I guess she like had to go say bye to him. Which seems like a really weird thing to find out about at the spur of the moment like that, cause she'd emailed me not four hours before lab saying she'd be there. Anyway. But today, I didn't have a mini-nervous breakdown! I'm not gonna lie, last week the lab assistant practically did my lab for me I was so confused. It was just an experiment that was not made to be done by one person, and I was practically dropping things, forgetting which stuff I'd put in which beaker. It was a nightmare. But this week, I did this week's lab all by myself and got done half an hour early! Woot! Like I said, I was very proud.

And last but not least....you will never guess what language we are singing a song in at Intervarsity tonight. (Kaylee, you're not allowed to guess since I just told you on AIM ; -) )

SWAHILI!!!!!

Mwahahahaha, another language I will know random words in. Seriously though, one day I want to learn Swahili. You think I'm kidding.

10:10pm: HOLY CRAP I LOVE LOST SO MUCH

THAT IS ALL

11:20pm: So who will throw book 7 out the window if it ends like any of the Star Wars movies?
I got to attend a quidditch club meeting just now for like the first time in 9 months. I'm pretty excited about it. All last semester I had work study during the meeting time (and apparently so did several other people), so to avoid clashes with other things they've moved the meeting time all the way to 10PM-11PM.(because honestly, what college student goes to bed before 11PM?) Anyway. WOW did I miss my crazy Harry Potter people. We had a huge discussion (aka rant) about theories for book 7. And a random kitten showed up and that got almost more attention than some of the theories. One girl suggested a Sirius' motorbike/Ford Anglia ship. It was kinda scary. Ah I love Harry Potter.

LOST IN TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!!!!

Just thought I'd throw that out there.

BTW the response to the title question: A room full of raised hands, and one guy who went "Wow! If it ends with music and credits, I'll be really impressed!" I. Heart. HP fans.

7:10pm: The Colts
I live three doors down from two girls who are apparently the biggest Colts fans on campus. Josie and I randomly decided to watch the Indianapolis Colts vs. the New England Patriots game (whoever wins goes to the superbowl) but even if we hadn't been watching it, it would have been obvious who was winning and who was losing from the SHRIEKS of agony coming from these two girls' room. It's about to go into half time and I'm absolutely cracking up because every time something happens those girls down the hall absolutely go nuts. It's hilarious. Ah well. Time to do chemistry and Spanish. Woot.

9:19pm: Orbitals
I give you a direct quote from my chemistry textbook:

"The subshell at n=1 has only one orbital named the 1s orbital, where "1" is the value of n, and "s" comes from a German word of no interest here."

Why does this remind me of something Lemony Snicket would write?

12:37am: I feel so. Old.
Well within 10 hours I will be heading back to school. I can't decide whether to be thrilled or slightly sad about that.

A lot has actually happened in the past few days. On Friday, a friend of mine from high school had an impromptu early birthday pary, and more of us showed up than showed up for her last birthday party which she planned two weeks in advance. It was amusing. It was the dorks of the round table all over again. According to my one friend who already has a child, and her family's ancient Chinese secret, I am going to have two children: boy then a girl. Everyone's prediction was different than it was in high school, except Stephanie's, which in a freaky sort of way makes sense cause she's the only one who was dating someone then and is still dating the same someone. Apparently poor Jenna's gonna have like 8 kids. It was weird talking about children and stuff. I feel old. I've noticed that the older we get, the more I say "I feel old."

Then yesterday my dad and stepmom got here and we went out to eat with my grandma, and then....
OK so my stepmom has a job that involves quite a bit of traveling, so her boss bought a company car and basically it's hers (my stepmom's), even though she isn't paying anything for it. And my dad's been saying for years that if they ever got a new car, I could have Penny's old car. Well it's not like here with me, but my dad said as soon as I get my license I can have Penny's old car. He gave me the key and everything. I'm basically still in shock.
I HAVE. A CAR. I mean, sure I'm not quite legally allowed to drive it at the moment, but when I am, I don't have to worry about paying for a car! This could not have come at a better time. I will NEED a car in August to get to internships. It's a blue 98 chevy malibu, if that means anything to anyone. It wouldn't mean anything to me if I didn't just know what my stepmom's car looks like. lol. Excuse me, I mean MY car. ;-)

Then today we went out to my aunt Connie's house and visited with her and my cousin Crystal who has two little ones- Noah age 6, and Kaydee (pronounced Katie) age 6 weeks! She's only six weeks but WOW she looks and acts like she's about 4 months. She kicks her feet and waves her arms around like crazy. NOTHING like Elise's baby who is older than her. Baby Will just kinda lays there. I was holding Kaydee and well, Grandma decided I was holding her wrong, so she adjusted her and then said something like "You'll have to learn how to hold a baby!" And I was like "Um, Grandma, it's gonna be a while before I have one of these!" And Crystal laughed and said "I don't blame you!"

Well I'm supposed to be "packing," but I'm so not. I so should be. I mean, it's 1AM and we're leaving between 9 and 10 tomorrow morning. And I am SO not done packing. Off I go. *sigh* Hasta luego.

2:06am: "To find that I let all these years go by wasted"
Well it's still Christmas break. And I'm still bored. I dunno. During breaks I fall into this slump of basically laying around the house doing absolutely nothing, which can be fun, but not for a month straight. I keep thinking I should be doing something productive, and feeling like I'm forgetting something, but I guess I just ignore the feeling and keep watching TV and playing on the Internet and reading. I've had fun with my friends that I've got to see. I got to see my friend who had a baby...that was fun. He's adorable. And a very good baby too. A mutual acquantince who was there at the time said I looked funny holding him cause I looked like I thought he might break if I moved a muscle. And I'm like.....yeah, so? :)

Anyway, basically I need to either start exerting some energy, or January 8th needs to get here real quick. I'd prefer the former, since I hate to wish away my Christmas break. *sigh* I'm just so bored and I have no energy whatsoever, probably because I keep staying up until 2AM like this for no good reason whatsoever. To play Internet games. Stupid reason. And then I sleep until 11 or noon, and play on the Internet or watch TV or something until 4 when my mom gets home, and then I spend some time with her and then I go right back to TV or Internet or reading or something. *sigh* I should go to sleep now. Good night.

11:01pm: One of these days I will learn not to procrastinate. Really I will.